Top 10 Things Cancer Taught Me

March 19, 2024 is when I first heard the words, “Jami, you have breast cancer.”  That day is now etched as one of the most impactful days of my life.  It ranks up there with the day I got married, the day our daughter was born, the day I met each of my boys.  Now I add to that list the day I received my diagnosis and the day I knew I was cancer-free.

Here are the Top Ten things I learned this past year:

I know this sounds cheesy and clique, but seriously, I have learned that when I just can’t handle anymore, He is the only place to turn.  In this past year, I have questioned God, I have cried out to God, I have yelled at God, I have even used curse words when speaking to God.  And you know what, He still loves me!  He is still my refuge and my comfort.  God can take your anger.  God can accept your questions.  In fact, I believe He longs for you to seek those answers.  There were even some days when I didn’t even know what to say, so all that came out of my mouth was, “Jesus.  Jesus.  Jesus.”  I found comfort in worship music so much so that my daily nap playlist was a collection of worship music.  It would calm me and allow my body to rest.

I have said over and over again this past year, “I don’t know how people get through this without faith and community.”

I literally do not know how I could have managed this past year without my husband, my parents, and my BFF Carri.  They became my Uber drivers, my laundry maid, my cook, and my personal care assistant.  They have all seen more of me (if you know what I mean) than they ever cared to!  But they all did it with love and grace, and for that I am so grateful.

My community has pulled through for me in ways that I never could have imagined.  I didn’t even realize how big my community was until my diagnosis.  My church family, my Scentsy family, and my online community showed up in big ways!  

If you don’t have a community, I urge you to put yourself out there and be vulnerable.  Find a church or faith home.  Volunteer.  Plug in to people around you with similar interests.  Life isn’t meant to be spent alone.

We live in a toxic world!  Cancer is on the rise and I believe it is because of what we allow in our bodies on a daily basis.  I made drastic changes when I got my diagnosis, and I fully believe that my treatment was easier because of changes I made to my diet and the chemicals I allow in and around my body.  I am by no means an expert on this, but these are the major changes I have made:

• • Eat organic as much as possible
  • Limited meat and only when I know where that meat has come from
    • Hormone Free
    • Antibiotic Free
    • Grass-Fed and Finished Beef
  • No processed sugars.  I choose to use agave, monk fruit, or honey to sweeten.
  • Limited processed foods or foods with preservatives
  • No fast-food (except when that french fry craving just won’t stop)
  • I am only allowing skincare and makeup that meets European standards

Just recently, I heard a family member say “Doctor knows best!” when speaking about a medical situation and I laughed out loud.  I have learned this past year that there is nothing further from the truth.  I have learned that doctors know what the Universities teach them, and those Universities are teaching what Big Pharma wants them to learn!

YOU know your body better than anyone else!  

I have learned to speak up for treatments I want or don’t want.  I have learned to speak up when something just doesn’t feel right.  I have learned to find a new clinic and/or a new doctor when yours won’t listen to you or answer your questions.

YOU are in charge of your body and doing what is best for you!

This is so hard for so many people because nobody wants to be a charity case.  However, if you don’t tell your community what you need, you could be blocking them from being a blessing.  So many people had reached out with love and compassion immediately after my diagnosis.  So often, Paul and I heard the question “What do you need?” or “How can I help?”  As a result, I created an Amazon wish list of all the physical things that we needed, and WOW did my community pull through!  That wish list was wiped clean several times as I would update it throughout my treatment. I also had friends make me sourdough bread, kombucha and sauerkraut to help keep my gut taken care of.  Then when the medical bills started coming in, my community stepped up again in a big way!

This goes hand in hand with several things listed above.  This past year, I had to learn to accept help both financially and through acts of service.

My love language is Receiving Gifts, so every day that I would open up my door to a stack of Amazon packages was a joyous occasion.  I opened those boxes and envelopes with childlike wonder even though I knew I had created the list that was being shopped from.  The more difficult help to accept was help that altered my normal day to day life.  I was so thankful when my mom would come over and do laundry, but it was not done “my way”.  Same thing about things being put away in the kitchen or other areas of the home.  I know several people can feel my “ick” about this situation.  But it doesn’t change the fact that I am so happy to have had the help.  It just took me getting over “my way” of doing things and accepting that done is better than perfect.

This blog, my facebook posts, and my future book have become my ways to vent.  I have also started chatting with a telehealth counselor as well.  

I have always been someone who just deals with things.  I have powered through many tough situations in my life.  However, this one was too big to tough it out silently.  I have learned that you must release those feelings or they will eventually spill out in the most inopportune moments.

We are all surrounded by people that have been through what you are going through now.  Many of those people use that knowledge to help others, and many of those have created nonprofits to do just that!  The most helpful resources I have found this past year were:

• Friends who have been through previous treatment
• Friends who have a passion for holistic/natural living and eating
• The Stonebrook Project (offering massage to oncology patients)
• Lisa Bain Ministries (spreading Joy in darkness)
• OCSRI Community Resources (like the wig room)

Look for more information about my non-profit, Comfort Beanie,  coming soon!

Look-life is difficult!  As a self-proclaimed perfectionist and do-it-all type of personality, I had to learn to slow down this past year.  I have had to learn what it means to give myself grace and allow myself to rest.

Cancer and cancer treatment suck.  There is no way around that, but I have learned to look for joy even in the crappiest of situations.  A few examples:

• I have spent more time with my mom this past year than ever before.  It has been a blessing.
• I am thankful that my diagnosis came AFTER all my kids had moved out and began lives of their own.
• I have met so many local families that have small businesses centered around health and wellness and I love supporting them.
• My friend circle has grown because of the cancer care community.
• I have found some of the most caring people in doctors’ offices and clinics.
• I would have never had the idea for Comfort Beanie or had the drive to start a non-profit had I not had the issue of not being able to find cute and comfortable beanie caps because I lost my hair.
• I have spent $$$ trying to dye my hair a gorgeous gray.  My hair grew back in a beautiful grey color.  (although I still haven’t figured out how to manage these curls)

My list could go on and on…

As I said earlier, my community has been awesome!  So many of our needs have been met beyond measure.  Right now, there are two ways that you can support me on this journey.

1. Get added to my newsletter by clicking the “Contact Us” button at the top of this page and filling out the information.  This helps me to build a database of my supporters so I can let you know when my book is published and my non-profit, Comfort Beanie, is launched.
2. We still have tons of medical bills pouring in.  New year means new deductible.  Also, we have had to get supplemental insurance to help with coverage so that means we are paying for two insurance companies.  On top of all of that, naturopathic/holistic doctors and treatments are not covered by traditional insurance.  We are grateful for any and all assistance.  You can help by sending donations to these accounts:

• CashApp: $JamiSullins (0969)
• Venmo: @Jami-sullins (0969)

Any and all monies sent go directly to my medical bills.