MY CANCER JOURNEY
Here we are…another week.
This week has been a bit odd for me. I think my new reality is finally settling in so all the small things about treatment, side effects, and my new schedule are now miniscule. However, this past week was one filled with extreme joy and extreme lows. This recap might be all over the place, so just bear with me.
First, let’s start with some silly stuff that I decided to make this week:
As you know, this past Sunday was Mother’s Day. I am a mom of 3, but all of my kids live a bit of a drive away. My youngest two are about 2 hours away and my oldest is 12 hours away. I didn’t have anything planned except going to church and visiting my mom to give her a gift. While walking out of church, I saw a text from Mackenzie telling me to give her a call. As I sat in the car to drive to lunch she informed me that I would have a car full of visitors coming soon-her, her boyfriend and my youngest son! Literal tears down my face!!! There is nothing better than seeing your grown kids on Mothers Day! Luckily, my weekends are usually my best days and I had some good energy that day. We enjoyed walking around Mayfest in Tulsa and a nice dinner before they had to head back home. It was maybe the best Mother’s Day I have ever had! Of course I had to grab a pic to remember the day!
Tuesday, May 14th: Chemo Treatment #3
It’s a day I knew was coming. I thought I was ready. It wasn’t going to be a big deal. I have had a bazillion different hairstyles in just as many different colors. I have even considered shaving my head before, so losing my hair wasn’t going to be a problem.
WRONG!
As I shampooed my hair Tuesday morning, I thought maybe there was a bit more hair shedding than on a normal day, but I really didn’t know. Maybe I was just imagining it. I got out of the shower and proceeded to get dressed and ready to go to treatment. Did my makeup. Started drying my hair…I was right. This was not normal shedding of a few hairs. It was happening. My hair was starting to fall out. And friends, I was NOT okay.
If you know me, or have been following my blog, you know I am a STRONG girl! I have Faith, I have spunk, and I am gonna get through this fight and walk out stronger than I started. I may look like I am always strong, but don’t be fooled. This journey SUCKS! It’s awful. And this day punched me right in the gut. I still can’t quite put it into words, but the best way I can explain it is that this signified the loss of who I was. The loss of my previous self. The loss of my carefree “no worries” self. This was tangible evidence that my life is NOT the same now. I texted my core group of people, and I cried…lots…
But I couldn’t sit and cry all day because I had treatment. So I tied up my mess of a head of hair, and off we went to kick this disease to the curb!
Of course, I knew the hair loss was inevitable. I “thought” I was prepared for it-I had even joked about it several times. So it was time to just deal with it! I knew I couldn’t handle handfuls of my hair coming out, so I decided to shave it in hopes of making the loss of my hair easier to deal with. My sweet baby girl (not so much a baby anymore) was not going to let me do it alone. She insisted on shaving her head with me!
Wednesday morning, my mom came over to support me while Mackenzie and I Facetimed each other and took the clippers to our heads! It was silly and we laughed as we both shaved our heads right down the middle for a reverse mohawk! I have to say, That girl looks freakin’ adorable with a shaved head. Me? Eh… I need some time for the new look to settle-in.
For now, I am most comfortable in a soft turban or beanie. But I am determined to start a new fashion trend…TURBANS…not just for old ladies anymore!
I am so grateful that the side effects of my treatment have been pretty minimal. Please pray that this continues to be the situation throughout treatment.
I pray that I can continue to remember who God made me to be despite any changes throughout this process.
I also continue to pray that people will be put in my path that need to see the Light of God and that I can be His hands and feet even during my battle.
And because I know I have an AWESOME and supportive community, and I know so many of you will feel helpless in this fight of mine, these are ways to you can help us:
- I have been blown away by your generosity with my Amazon list. I have added a few items that would be helpful. You will see the link below for my list.
- I know many of you have been asking how to help financially. If you feel led to donate financially to help with medical bills, you can do that via venmo to @Jami-Sullins or CashApp to $JamiSullins.
- If you would prefer to donate a gift card, these would be most helpful: DoorDash (we have found a few places within my diet), Whole Foods, Sprouts Farmers Market, WalMart.
Please understand, we are not asking for you to spend any money, but I also know that many of you have the Lord’s gifts of hospitality and caregiving, so I wanted to provide ways you could help.
Three Chemo Sessions Down & Thirteen More To Go!
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