MY CANCER JOURNEY

I have thought about this blog post for a while now…questioning whether I should actually write it or not.  But most of you love me for my candor and my spunk or spice, so I think you will either appreciate my honesty, or maybe learn something that will be helpful in the future.

Let me preface this whole share session with the fact that I love love love my community and I know that my friends and family mean well.

If you ask me, “Jami, How are you feeling?”chances are you are going to get a response from me something along the lines of “It’s a good day.” or “I’m doing okay.”  If you are standing in front of me, meaning I am out and about in society, both of these statements are somewhat true.

But if I am honest, I REALLY want to respond with one of the following statements:

  • “Well, I had 3 bags of poison pumped into my veins on Tuesday.  How do you think I feel?”
  • “Honestly, I feel like shit.”
  • “I am exhausted, but my need to be out in society won the war today.”
  • “I haven’t ever felt like this before and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”
  • “I’m sad–pissed really.  I just watched tons of my friends enjoy an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii that I earned as well and should have been on.  I watched them enjoy it and I lived vicariously through them while I scrolled FB sitting in a chemo chair, laying in my bed, or sitting on the toilet, where I spend more time than I ever imagined.”
  • “I’m overwhelmed.  I feel like crap everyday.  I have ZERO energy.  I am sleeping more than a newborn baby.  The bills are starting to flood in.  I can’t work like I used to.  My mind is always racing with things I should be doing.  My world has flipped upside down.”
  • “How do you want me to answer you?”  (Because I am a people-pleaser at heart)

The thing is…I have my good days and my bad, but no matter what, this disease has destroyed the life I once enjoyed.  Yes, I will overcome and survive this!  I will get my “normal” life back in probably a year or so.  But CANCER has stolen my life for now and I am PISSED!  I will put on a brave face and smile every single day, because THAT is who I am, but deep down inside, I am in pain both physically and mentally.

Okay-now that I have that out of my system, let me give you some helpful suggestions.  These are things that I LOVE to hear from my friends and family when I see them:

  • I love it when people say simple things like “You’ve been on my mind lately.”
  • “It is so good to see you!”  (This one is my favorite because I am so glad to see you too!)
  • “I’m glad you are feeling well enough to get out today.”
  • “Tell me something that made you smile this week.” (I love to focus on the positives in life)
  • “What foods are you craving this week?”  Okay this makes us laugh so much.  It is so odd how my cancer journey has been mimicking pregnancy in so many ways.  One of those is my food cravings and it really makes us laugh.  You might be surprised at the answer for this one from time to time.
  • And instead of saying, “I’m praying for you.” I would love for you to ask “How can I pray for you?”  I KNOW that many people are praying for me but my specific needs change from week to week and honestly, from day to day.  Of course I put specific prayer requests on this blog, but again-they change.

Most people dealing with trauma, just want to know you care and more than anything, they want to SMILE.  Moreover-have a reason to smile.  We don’t want to answer questions that have us dig into the misery we are in.  This goes for all kinds of trauma-sickness, death of a loved one, depression, the list is endless.

BlogSmile

Staying on the same topic of helpful vs. non-helpful, I would love to have a conversion about gifts and things.  While some of this is just me, I believe it could be helpful just to keep in the back of your mind for anyone dealing with trauma.

I know when I hear about a friend going through something, I want to help.  And from the outpouring of love and gifts from my friends and family, I know you all want to do the same.  But sometimes it is hard to know what to do or what to gift.

BlogHelp

Rule of Thumb: PRACTICAL is best!

I know that many of you enjoyed shopping my Amazon list, and BELIEVE ME when I say, all of those items were so very helpful.  If you missed my initial Amazon list, I had items spanning all areas: cancer related items like beanies for hair loss, puke bags, nausea meds, “other” tummy meds, comfort items like new sheets, pajamas, and lotions, and needed food items like high protein snacks, and easy to eat foods when my tummy is upset.

I have done a recent update to my wishlist and added a few things, so of course I will link it here, but honestly, the most helpful items right now are gift cards for Instacart and Doordash.  These can be purchased on Amazon and emailed directly to me to jamisullins@gmail.com.  These modern conveniences are a Godsend for me to get things easily delivered to the house like dinner and groceries.  In fact, I had an Instacart order from Walmart delivered while I was writing this Blog.

So a suggestion for you–God forbid you deal with tragedy, TELL people how they can help you.  Make a list of items that would be helpful and needed.  And if you have a friend dealing with something, ask them what specific items would be helpful.  Ask them what their favorite non-perishable foods are and stock those.  Stock them in paper goods so they don’t have to do dishes.  Get a DoorDash gift card so they can order whatever they want to eat and when they want it.

Don’t waste your money on a generic “Get Well Box” from Amazon as most of those items are useless.  Don’t buy little trinkets or items that will just clutter their space.  Most people don’t need another candle, another cup, or another blanket UNLESS it is something special and sentimental to that person or something that will make them laugh their head off (like the pineapple blanket I got that was clearly the result of an inside joke).   

I know many people would appreciate practical help around the house.  Luckily, I am blessed with many close friends and family that are retired or work from home so I have been well taken care of in this area.  But keep in mind for others you might want to help – things like house cleaning, laundry, etc are always needed!  Even walking their dog and babysitting services may be a great way to help others.

Blog7

 

 

Those same icky side effects that I mention last time are sticking around.  Please pray specifically for my gastrointestinal system and my mouth.  Also pray that moisture will REMAIN in my body and that I can stay hydrated.

 

I pray that I can continue to remember who God made me to be despite any changes throughout this process.  

 

I pray that I will continue to see all the sunshine and rainbows despite the clouds.

 

My Prayer

Sign Up For The Newsletter

Jami would love to stay in touch!

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.